Last night was rather nice. i Spent the day bored and upset and then Nicole came over and we hung out.. we went to get her some food at Serrano's and then went to Fascinations. I was Helping her in the ways of Sex toys.. We went to Walmart and were in the cosmetics/ condom region and i was telling her about Lube and it was Cracked open so it splatter all over the floor which was funny. we got a lot of talking out and i was talking to Alex the entire time.. He made me feel a lot better last night .. but when he doesn't say good night i get a little worried. So in turn it made me a little angry again. the boy knows that i worry about everything and he knows that he is the main reason for my worry because i would be nothing if something happened to him.. " I wasn't planning on living in a world whrere you didnt exist" is the plainest way i can say it. Going on 8 months.. its a great thing. i would not give it up, i cant be myself without him. Alex is pretty amazing. He may not think so but to me his is everything and more. If i had him forever i wouldnt need anything else.
I want to be happy again, i want to feel normal. Maybe it will happen one day but its not set in stone. Im the worst kind of person really, Always down, happy for short intervals. Never happy for a long period of time. Jealous, Possesive, Honest, Bitchy, Angry, Shut off.
But he seems to see past it and still love me and i dont see how its possible, But then again he is amazing, he can do pretty great things.
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