Lately things have been Rocky again with me and Alex.. his lack of time for me or anything outside of Brad and Blake is really starting to annoy me. I am just going to let him do whatever he wants until i cant take anymore of the crap and i end up leaving.. If i wanted to be ignored i would have staying with Jae My Korean boyfriend before Alex. I hardly see him as it is and now that him and blake are like Lovers its hard to even talk to him.. i am making attempts to be civil with blake but there are things about him that i just dont like and know if i can deal with all the time. For one he has what i wish i did and i hate ther because i should be first he should be second but its not that way at all. I have been PMSing like no ones business and i feel depressed so that doenst help..Not to mention the Awful cramps i have. Friday we will leave for Cali and that should be nice.. Not only am i sexually frustrated that will have to wait for at least 2 more weeks which is sucky..
i just wish Alex knew how it feels to be second in my book.. then maybe he would stop putting blake first.
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